So you’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks or months, and you’ve got one word on your mind: LOVE. But…how do you know you love him? Is it just infatuation? Lust? Hormones? Or is this actually turning into something real?
You find yourself singing Whitney Houston’s old gem, How Will I Know, in the shower:
There’s a boy I know, he’s the one I dream of Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above Ooh I lose control, can’t seem to get enough When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love
Okay, that’s super cheesy, but my point is: the question “how do I know if I love him?” is eating at your brain. So allow me to help you get to the bottom of this all-important mystery.
How do you know you love him? The following are signs you’re in love with him, so if any (or all) are true, then you probably do!
1. You Talk About The Future With Him
Next Halloween, we should do a couple’s costume.
Hey, do you wanna take a three-week road trip in the spring?
Our kids would be so damn cute!
Topics like these come up with your boyfriend fairly regularly, and he doesn’t run screaming. Neither do you. Huh.
The thought of a future with this guy is something you’re starting to take for granted as a given, which is a pretty good sign you’re in love with him or are falling in love with him.
2. Everything Reminds You of Him
You’re eating a peanut butter sandwich: This sandwich reminds me of Tommy. He eats peanut butter.
You put on your favorite green shirt: I wore this three days after my first date with Tommy.
You go out for tacos every Tuesday: Tacos start with the letter T! Just like Tommy!
These examples are a bit ridiculous, but they illustrate a point: if you have Tommy (or whatever your guy’s name is) on the brain 24/7, there’s a good chance you’re in love.
And this isn’t just me saying that when things remind you of him, it means you love him: Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and a leading expert on the biological basis of love, found that people in love focused on trivial events and objects that reminded them about the objects of their affection. Likely, she surmised, this was due to elevated levels of central dopamine and a spike in central norepinephrine.
So if every little thing makes you think of your sweetie…yea, it could be love.
3. You Find Yourself Always Talking About Him
You’re kinda disgusted with yourself. You’ve become that girl. The girl (woman, really) who talks incessantly about her man.
Tommy and I were at IKEA the other day…
Tommy loved that recipe. I made it for him this weekend.
I’ll ask Tommy what he thinks about that.
Thing is…you can’t help yourself! It seems like his name falls out of your mouth without you even meaning it to. You try to curb mentions of him to keep your friends from murdering you…but it’s a challenge. How do you know you love him? Ask your friends how many times you’ve said his name in the last hour!
4. You Re-Read His Text Messages & Scroll Through His Photos
It’s the weekend and you’re ready to curl up on the couch for a good read. But instead of picking up that memoir that’s gathering dust on the coffee table…you grab your phone.
You love reading through your past texts with your man. It’s like reading a romance novel. You love scrolling back a mile to when you first started texting to see what the conversation was like way back when. You enjoy seeing when he started sending that kiss-blowing emoji your way.
And while no one else will join you in watching a slideshow of Tommy Pics, you love nothing more than to flick through your photos to gaze adoringly at his face. Here’s Tommy drinking a glass boot of beer. Here’s a selfie of the two of you on the beach at sunset.