Unsure of what to do on a first date? There is nothing like the thought of going on a first date to get your heart pounding in your chest.
Even the very thought of it makes your palms sweaty and your throat close up.
First dates can be stressful and scary if you don’t know what to do.
If only there was some way that we could all automatically skip forward and onto the second date!
Whoever said being single was easy has clearly never dated in this new modern society, sure you’ve read our guide to 21st-century dating but how do you get there?
How do you get from practical strangers to actually dating? Let me help you.
What do you say on the first date? Where do you go? What do you do? What happens if you don’t like them, can you get up and leave? Maybe they’ll leave?
It’s far too easy to spiral into a panic thinking about going on a first date. But fear not you sexy single lady, the next first date that you go on, might not actually be as bad as you might think it will be if you keep to this simple and easy to follow guide.
Who knows, you might even relax enough to enjoy your self. And better yet, snatch yourself a second date (if you want one of course).
So fear not, no need to overdo it on the vodka shots before you leave your house or spend the entire night with your legs shaking under the table. Here is your very own guide on what to do on a first date with a guy.
First Date Tip #1: Put Your Phone Away
There is nothing more aggravating than sitting across a table from someone who will not put their phone away. The constant vibrations on the table as you sit there awkwardly, not sure where to look as they check their phone for the millionth time (rolls eyes). Not only is it rude but it can also make someone feel quite paranoid.
Who are they messaging? Are they telling their friend how terrible the date is going and they are both crying face emojis at how bad you look? Or even worse, are they texting their ex, begging for another chance?
You’re on a date to get to know someone, not to stare at the back of their phone case for two plus hours on a Friday night. Believe it or not but there is such a thing as dating, phone etiquette and if you aren’t 100% sure on what that entails, well you should probably do your homework before the big night.
It’s better to be safe than sorry so do yourself a massive favor and keep your phone away, in your pocket or in a bag.
Yes, you can check it throughout the evening when you pop to the toilet to update your friend. But do it in private. Not in front of your date because you’ll only come across as rude and that’s not a good first impression.
There are certain rules to using your phone on a date, and its best to stick to them.
Keeping your phone out of reach will also show your date that you’re interested and willing to get to know them. It shows them that you value their time and appreciate them being there with you. You are showing them respect by giving them your full attention and allowing the date to flow naturally without any unnecessary interruptions.
First Date Tip #2: Don’t Forget to Talk
It’s called “awkward silence” for a reason. Because it’s just that. Plain awkward.
You can’t get to know someone by just staring at them. Life isn’t that easy. Want to know what to do on a first date? Well, you need to communicate with your date.
Don’t be afraid to ask them questions, it shows that you are interested in what they are saying and want to know more about them.
Yes, it can be a little awkward to get the conversation flowing, but if you make the effort to contribute to the conversation then it should begin to flow in no time.
Don’t give one-word answers, there’s nothing more of a conversation killer than a blunt “yes,” or “no,” response. Actually its probably best to avoid all and any conversation killers full stop.
Also, try and remember that you aren’t on a job interview. Try and keep the questions open and light-hearted, hobbies are always a good place to start and people tend to open up and enjoy talking about the things they are most passionate about. If you are really stuck there is no harm in doing some research beforehand and brushing up on some conversation topics and question ideas before the date.
Most importantly, if you are interested in your date, let him know! Men are not mind-readers (we aren’t that lucky,) but a good way to let him know you like him is by flirting. If you haven’t already, you need to check out Sexy Confidence’s guide to flirting. Nothing spices up the first date more than a little bit of playful flirtation.
First Date Tip #3: Remember to Be Honest
What to do on a first date? Tell the truth! We all want to look good to our date. We want to seem interesting and alluring and want them to find us fascinating. But what happens when three months later, when you two are now seriously dating and you have to break it to your partner that you don’t speak fluent German or have a holiday home in the alps?
Talk about an awkward conversation!
When stuck for what to say on a date: honesty is always the best policy.
I once dated a woman who lied about what school she went to. This got really awkward when I then later introduced her to some friends of mine who had also attended the same school. Not only did she feel like a fool, but she also made me look like one too.
If you suspect that your date is lying to you, there are some subtle ways to tell. Imagine how awkward you would feel knowing your date is telling you bare face lies, so don’t do it yourself.
Be open and honest and you really can’t go wrong.
You want your date to get to know you. The real you, not the fictional you who drives a fancy car and makes millions a year. Because sooner or later the truth will come out and it will just leave you feeling stupid with a giant question mark over everything else you’ve ever said. Plus, there is nothing more alluring or attractive than someone who is just open and honest. It’s refreshing and it has been proven that there is a link between honesty and attractiveness.
First Date Tip #4: Always Be Yourself
This one sort of goes hand in hand with honesty and telling the truth which is one of the most important things on what to do on a first date. You are the only person in this world who knows you better than anyone. You know your strengths and all your best qualities down to the very last detail. So let them out and watch them shine.
Dazzle your date, after all, you should be your own number one cheerleader (because who else is gonna toot your trumpet for you?)
Show your date how great you are, let yourself shine but keep true to yourself while doing so. It’s easy to exaggerate to make yourself look and seem better. But you don’t need to do this, just focus on your best qualities and you’ll feel comfortable shining because you’re telling the truth. If you like spicy food, then talk about it. If you have a new favorite show you just started watching, then bring it up in conversation.
Let your date know who you are and what you are all about.
Give your date a glimpse into what a relationship with you will be like, because there is nothing worse than pretending to be someone else and it backfiring.
Believe me, people can tell when you are being authenticate. Not only will they respect you for it, but they’ll also be drawn to you because they’ll find it appealing. We all know there is nothing worse than fake people, especially on a first date.
So just be you. Be yourself and watch everything else fall in line.
First Date Tip #5: Try and Have Fun
Yes, dating is hard and first dates are stressful. But I’m here to tell you a little secret, dating is also supposed to be fun. It’s far too easy to get so lost in your own head that you forget to let your hair down and actually enjoy yourself.
Be adventurous while picking the date, choose to do something different. Not only will you stand out for thinking outside the box, you’ll actually enjoy yourself more if you’re doing an activity that you enjoy.
Those who do a fun activity have a higher success rate on their date than those who don’t because it gives an equal common ground. Something for you both to do and talk about, so you have something to say to fill those awkward moments.
Plus, everyone is more attractive when they are laughing and having a good time, aren’t they?
As I’ve told you before, having fun and being fun is the key to making you the most attractive woman he has ever met. So do something fun and enjoy yourself! If nothing comes from the date, you’ll have at least spent the evening doing something fun and not just stuck in the house with your cat…like usual.
First Date Tip #6: Listen to Your Date
Your mother has been telling you for years: communication is key. And we all know we should be listening to our mothers on this one.
But you can’t communicate if you don’t listen.
Conversation is a two-way street and half of that street is shutting up long enough to let your date say two words.
Some of us tend to ramble when we are nervous, (hey, we are all human after all,) but it’s important to try and remember to listen to your date, and by listen I don’t just mean nod along in silence, I mean really listen to what they are saying. For example, if they say they are vegetarian, you’ll look silly if you suggest going to grab some burgers at your favorite burger place this weekend.
Not only will listening save your butt in these types of situations on a first date, but it also shows you care. The most impressive thing while dating is when someone picks up on something you’ve said and remembers it.
Wear Comfortable Clothes
This might not seem that important. But trust me it is. We act most like ourselves when we feel most like ourselves. Don’t dress to impress, rather dress to destress. There is nothing more annoying or off-putting than trying to be your most confident and best self if you are wearing an uncomfortable outfit or shoes.
Don’t wear that dress that you can’t breathe in after dinner or the skirt with the millions of buttons that takes so long to do after a trip to the toilet. There is no need to add any more stress or nerves to a first date, so you are best sticking to comfort on this one.
Comfort doesn’t have to mean frumpy though. Just because you are comfortable doesn’t mean you don’t get to look good, you just need to figure out what to wear on a date and find what suits you and your style best. (Also don’t forget to take the venue into consideration. No one wants to show up to a bowling alley in stilettos!)
First Date Tip #7: Participate in the First Date
The whole point of a first date, is to have a second date (if we like the person of course!).
We all want a first date to be successful and in order for it to be successful, it has to be fun. There is nothing more off-putting that going on a first date with a killjoy.
Not only is it important to participate in the conversation, (which we have covered) but it’s also important to participate in whatever it is you are doing on your date. It shows you are interested in being there and are willing to give it your all. Going to play mini golf? Then you need to pick up a club and take a swing regardless how good you are.
Going for dinner? Don’t agree to a dinner date if you are just going to awkwardly sit and sip water the entire night. Eat!
Of course, you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with (I wouldn’t like to get a mani pedi on a first date), but don’t agree to something beforehand and back out.
First Date Tip #8: Offer to Split the Bill
I’ve heard a lot of arguments over this one. Some women can’t afford to pay for a first date, and others just point blank refuse. I guess it all depends on the person. But one thing I think everyone can agree on is that it’s always polite to offer. Some men take pride in paying for the date, it’s somewhat old-fashioned and they enjoy that experience. Just read his body language and he’ll tell give you indicators of what to do on the first date.
The key to a successful first date is to offer to split. If they decline, then at least you’ve offered, and if they don’t then you know you’ve done the right thing by going half. It all depends on your date, every man is different when it comes to the topic of bill splitting but it is always better to be safe than to be sorry. Showing them you have acknowledged the bill by offering to pay half will make a huge difference even if they don’t want you to pay, they will still appreciate the offer.
First Date Tip #9: Show Confidence
What will make a guy fall to his knees and beg for a second date? It won’t be the