He wants an open relationship and you don’t. What are you supposed to do now? You more than likely didn’t see this conversation coming. He probably blindsided you with this out of nowhere and threw you for a loop. You don’t want the relationship to end, but you never considered having an open relationship either.
So should you walk away, or take some time to see if you can handle having an open relationship? That is for you to decide, and you should take the time you need to honestly assess if an open relationship is right for you. The first thing you need to understand and discuss with your loved one is what an open relationship actually is. An open relationship means that the both of you have the options to have a sexual and/or emotional relationships with other people on the side. Monogamy is no longer a part of your relationship.
Open Relationship: He Wants One But You Don’t
Instead of dwelling on why your loved one wants an open relationship, or feeling as though you are not enough for them, stick to your thoughts and feelings about this. Your partner may be doing this as their last step before breaking up with you or to see what they can get away with. Regardless of why they want an open relationship, you need to be honest with yourself and use your head and not make a strictly emotional decision. As yourself these questions:
1. Would you actually use your options to be with other people? Would you do it just because your partner is doing it? Would you still remain monogamous to your partner while they are not monogamous in return? If you have no interest in being with other people or would just do it for the wrong reasons, then having an open relationship does nothing for you and this could be a deal breaker.
2. Can you honestly handle knowing that the one you love will be seeing other people? Can you handle sharing what was once only yours? Can you stop yourself from wondering every time they are not with you where they are and who they are with? Can you keep your jealousy in check and not let your imagination drive you crazy? Can you keep your self-respect and dignity intact and not let your self-esteem go down the drain? If the answer to these questions is “no” then don’t kid yourself. You can’t handle what an open relationship will do to you. You may not want to face a break up and the loss of your loved one, but you have to face the reality of how much hurt an open relationship will cause you.
3. Is your relationship strong enough to take the risks that come with open relationships? If your relationship is very strong, it could survive an open relationship. If your relationship is a drama filled tumultuous one then the chances of it surviving in any healthy way are slim to none.
Your only chance may be to take a stand at this point and tell the one you love that if they want an open relationship they are going to have to find one with someone else. If your partner knows that this is a deal breaker for you there is a good chance they will change their tune. Only you know what is best for you and what you can deal with and still be happy. Put your feelings first, and do what is best for YOU.