Life has taken an interesting turn, hasn’t it? One minute you’re married…the next you’re Googling dating advice for women after divorce.
Whatever happened that led you down this path, it’s okay. Whatever pain you’ve been through, you’re now doing well enough emotionally to think about opening up the door again to love.
But even if you’ve healed from your heartbreak and are ready to dip your toes in the dating pool once again, you may be completely and utterly terrified. The landscape looks completely different from what it did when you were last single…and that may have been decades ago.
Let me reassure you: no matter how much insecurity and doubt you have about dating again, you will quickly gain your confidence and get back on the horse once you get the valuable dating advice for women that I’m about to impart.
And who knows? You might even find more benefits to dating now than you did last time around! You might find dating more fun than when you were in your 20s, simply because the pressure to find a husband is off.
But before we dive in, let me explain why this article will be different from other articles boasting dating advice for women: the advice I’m going to give you is specifically targeting you, sweet lady. You don’t need advice on bar hookups, womanscaping, or how to get a guy to propose.
Those topics might be relevant to a never-married 22-year-old, but you’re at a different place in your life.
So this article is written with you and your specific dating questions and concerns in mind. I know you feel vulnerable and unsure of this rocky terrain, but I’ll make it my personal mission to help you navigate it.
Then vs. Now: How Dating Advice for Women Has Changed Since Your 20s
So much has changed in the past 10, 20, or 30 years since you were last single. The dating world has changed too, thanks to technology like dating apps and texting. You don’t need the same advice that your 20-year-old self would have wanted…or even your daughter or niece today would want.
Chemistry vs. Reliability
In your 20s, common dating advice would tell women to focus on chemistry, that spark. While certainly, we all seek those fireworks with a member of the opposite sex, sizzle isn’t everything in a relationship. Now that you’ve experienced a bit of life, you know that having a partner you can rely on for the long haul, who will be honest and open with you, is as important — if not moreso — than that chemistry.
There’s also less focus on the physical now that you’ve grown into yourself and understand that there is a man out there who will love your upturned nose and your voluptuous thighs. In your 20s, you had less life experience, so maybe you relied on your youthful good looks to help you find a man. But now that you understand truly that beauty is fleeting, but smarts, personality, and confidence will last forever, it changes how you approach dating.
And it goes both ways; you might be attracted to a bald man with love handles. He may worry that he no longer looks like a young Tom Cruise, but all you see when you look at him is his gentleness and intelligence.
What else do you need?
Bad Boys and Husbands? No More!
In your 20s, you were warned to stay away from bad boys (though you wanted them oh, so much). After being divorced, you may have personal experience in what being in a relationship with a bad boy can do to you…and you’re ready to stay away. So that dating advice for women may not have changed much, but fortunately, as men have grown up, there are (hopefully) fewer bad boys than there were in your 20s.
And back then, the focus for many single women was to find a husband.
Been there. Done that! Over it.
While 70% of divorced people get remarried at some point, that still leaves 30% who don’t, either because they don’t find someone or they don’t want to get married. Many women are reluctant to rush back into marriage after the pain of divorce.
That’s a good thing when it comes to dating, actually. Not having the single-track focus on getting married again gives you the freedom to move slowly as you navigate the dating world, and takes pressure off of a new relationship. Whether you decide to move in together or simply live apart in harmony for decades, do what is best for you.
And of course, you probably didn’t have to navigate the world of dating when you have kids when you were in your 20s. Now they’re a big part of your decision-making when it comes to letting a man into your world. Put them first and foremost in your decision making when it comes to dating.
While dating advice for women may have changed over the decades, it’s your instinct you should rely the most on.
What Happened to the Good Old-Fashioned Phone Call?