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Self-Love Builds Self-Confidence

Updated: Aug 8, 2019

“Kindness is not just about how you treat others; it’s rooted in how you treat yourself.” — Londro Rinzler

The dating world can be a place where rules do not seem to apply. What works for one person can blow up in the face of someone else. Even though this is true, there are some general truths that apply to everyone while dating, no matter who you are.

One of these truths is that self-confidence is attractive. People who are more self-confident tend to have more success when dating because it is a trait that is very obvious to potential mates when getting to know each other. So, what is the key to self-confidence? It is self-love. Loving yourself and treating yourself well is the first step to developing self-confidence that will radiate to other people and help you find more success in other areas of your life including dating.

The More You Want to Please Others, the Less Happy You Are

How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t care what other people think” and you've thought, wow, I wish I could feel that way. For most people, the answer is, a lot. It is difficult to brush off what people think of you, and because of this, many of us tend to try and please others all the time. When you try to please others, you spend all your time and energy focusing outward and have nothing left to care for yourself. The irony is, the more you focus your energy on loving yourself and less on pleasing others, you will see that you will be happier and that happiness will result in better relationships more than people-pleasing ever will.

Avoid Those Who Bring You Down

Another impediment to loving yourself and growing your self-confidence are negative people who, either purposefully or by proxy, bring you down. Self-love grows through focus and positive energy, people who bring negativity and drama into your life suck that positive energy away. Take inventory of your circle and cut off those individuals that are negative and surround yourself with people that are positive. It can be hard because some of the people bringing the negative energy are loved ones, which includes family.

Make Time for Yourself

You cannot practice self-love without knowing yourself well and many people really do not know themselves in a very deep way. Spending time by yourself is an important piece of this. Yes, it can be hard to get away and get moments for yourself but it is an important piece of self-love. Take time to do things you enjoy and create the time to be alone. When you know what makes you happy alone, you will better understand what will make you happy in a relationship and that will build your confidence.


Self-love is not always easy, but it is a must in developing healthy relationships and friendships. Trust me, it's a process. By following these few simple tips, you will be able to practice loving yourself more. So take time for yourself, trust the process, and remember you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

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