Let’s talk about the evolution of what a man thinks he needs to be.
I remember when I first started making money. I wanted nicer things.
Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want a nicer car, a nicer watch, nicer clothes?
But a lot of the times when I bought nice things, I wanted other people to recognize that I was a player.
I was Tony Soprano.
I was a badass.
When I drove up to the valet, my car was valet-able.
I wanted to be one of the first cars parked backwards so you can see the grill.
That’s my car, man, there it is.
You do this because, as a man, we’re so ego-driven.
We put on this show. This amazing, beautiful show. Because, for some reason or another, we think it’s going to validate us and attract women.
But in reality, it’s all about our childhood issues of trying to prove ourselves.
It’s really about us pulling up to the valet and turning the car backwards, and going to mom and dad, “See mom, see dad, I’m successful!”
But the problem is, the valet guy doesn’t give a fuck.
He just thinks you might be another douchebag with an over-priced car, because he’s just trying to make ends meet.
And hopefully, you tip him well.
As you get in the car, you smell his cologne, and you remember that episode of Seinfeld when the valet ruined the car because his stench would not get out.
It’s his way of saying, “I’ve got cheap cologne, you have an expensive car, but we’re both equally men.” Because he’s wearing the cheap cologne to do what? To hopefully attract and validate and give himself status with women.
And that’s where the trouble starts to come.
There’s an old saying that goes, loose lips sink battleships.
Flashy men tend to be taken by women who see just the flashy man.
My only experience with a gold digger was because I was flashy. Because I was so willing to be the big man, take care, buy her great things.
Why? Well, probably because my dad never did it for my mom.
My dad never really had the money for my mother because he lived off of my grandparents. So, it felt good to financially take care of this person. Basically enabling this person and playing right into the trash that she was.
Luckily for me, the relationship didn’t last that long, and I learned a lesson.
I remember when I got my BMW Seven Series, and I felt like I had finally arrived. I had the privilege of paying $800 a month for a car. With insurance and everything else, it was over $1,000 a month for a car.
There are people in this country, in this world, that could buy a house cheaper than they could buy an Escalade or a BMW.
But I had arrived.
Yet, after about a year of driving it, I realized it was the biggest waste of money in the entire world, because it really didn’t drive any better than a car half its price.
It just had the logo on it.
I actually could have bought a used one for about 1/3 of the price, and it would have driven the exact same with 80,000 miles.
So now, as I gladly tool around in my Volvo, paying $462 a month for it (including taxes with no money down for a $51,000 car, because negotiation is everything), I don’t give a fuck anymore if the world validates me.
Because validation is about who you are as a man, not what you can show the world.
It’s done with your mouth and your presence and your voice..
Because every time you show up, there’s always that gold digger that’s going to watch out for you.
And believe me, she’s looking for you.
She’s looking for you to be the father of her children. Or, looking for you to give her a baby so she can sit around and do nothing because she feels entitled to your money.
And men get taken like that 24/7.
Why? Because they’re fucking walking around with their penis hanging out as a Cadillac Escalade, or a BMW Seven 40-I.
Validation is knowing who you are as a man.
Validation is knowing how amazing you are as a man.
Validation is literally speaking with your mouth.
(RELATED: This is exactly what my Men’s Mastery Series is all about. It’s about creating the dynamic, deeply fulfilling lifestyle that will validate you as a man 24/7. If you want to dig deeper into this top, I strongly recommend you check it out here.)
Women are more attracted to men who are honest and full of integrity.
There’s always going to be the man that drives around with a 9/11 penis.
And it’s always the man that will be taken by a gold digging woman.
But you as a man, you don’t want that.
Because you as a man, are a high quality man. A man that deserves a high quality woman.
So drive a nice car if you want, but don’t use it as a showpiece.
As a matter of fact, once you really embrace this lesson, you’ll probably go back to driving something more simple.
Maybe not what Warren Buffet drives, an old Oldsmobile, but certainly something more simple.
Because quality men speak with their mouth and their presence.
You can still have the toys and the watches. But, do it for yourself.
Not to attract the wrong woman.