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What Does it Mean When a Guy Ignores You (+ What You Should DO)


Things have been good with the guy you’re dating. You’ve got chemistry. Conversations flow. Then one day, he doesn’t text you for 24 hours. WTF? What does it mean when a guy ignores you like that?

Did you misread the signs? Was he not really into you?

Feeling ignored has always sucked throughout human history.

Back when we were living in tribes, if a guy was ignoring you, he might be out hunting with his buddies.

Cavewoman You: UGG! I just made Smerg’s favorite Pterodactyl soup and he totally dissed me!!

Fifty years ago, he might just not pick up the (corded) phone when you called. 

1960s You: Hmm. He must be at Woodstock. Guess I’ll find my free love somewhere else…

But now, when a guy ignores you, you know for a fact that he’s read every one of your 12 text messages…and he’s just not responding.

This makes steam pour out of your ears!


Understandable. It’s just common courtesy to respond to a text, even if he’s not into you. But is that the case? Does he not like you? Is he playing games? Is he out with another woman? What does it mean when a guy ignores you??

As your coach, I take the role of letting you into the male mind very seriously. But be warned: it’s not always a pretty sight. Men do dumb things, especially with women they’re attracted to. Sometimes you overthink what they’re thinking. Either way, I’m going to help you figure out what’s on his mind when he ignores you, and what you should do about it.

Your Coach,

P.S. If you’re ready to amp up your game so you don’t get ignored by a man, check out my free Flirting Workshop training.

Introduction

Is he ignoring you? Is he ghosting you? Whatever he’s doing, it’s damn confusing. You waste precious time trying to figure out: why do men ignore women?

Let me apologize up front for my species. Men sometimes take the chickenshit route out of a situation that makes them uncomfortable. Or else…they’re absolutely clueless that they’ve offended you. Either way, you deserve to know what it means when a guy ignores you so you can figure out if you should cut bait or give him a chance.

Let’s look at a few scenarios, shall we?


1. What Does It Mean When a Guy Ignores You…to Play the Game?

Look, you know that I’m not a fan of playing games in dating…at least these days. I’ll admit that back when I was single, I did play games. (C’mon. Cut me some slack! I was a kid!)

And as they say: hate the player, not the game.

Sad but true: there’s no more effective way to make a woman want you than to ignore her just a little bit. This guy that you’re into might take several hours to respond to your text…

Or ignore your voicemail…

Leave a question unanswered…

Some guys take this “ignore her so she’ll want you” thing a little too far. If he’s meticulously planning how long he’ll wait until he responds to you, he most definitely is playing games to try to get you to chase him.

If you think that’s what he’s doing, then don’t give in.

What To Do When He Ignores You Like This

Don’t chase him: when you chase him, he’s winning. If this guy thinks the way to your heart is by messing with your head and playing hard to get, he’s got another thing coming. You really don’t want a guy who can’t admit when he’s excited to talk to you by, oh, I dunno, responding to a text sooner??

If you text him and he takes forever, you have two choices: play the game back and take twice as long to respond…

Or move on. If he’s playing games this early in the relationship, he’s probably not suddenly going to be authentic a few months down the road.


2. What Does It Mean When a Guy Ignores You…Because He’s Unsure About You?

You may know exactly how you feel about this man you’re dating, but he may not be as sure, especially if he didn’t plan to get into a serious relationship and you seem to want one. When he ignores you, don’t automatically assume it’s over. He may just need some time to process where he is and what he wants.

Maybe he was playing the field before he met you, happy with a hookup and nothing more. Then you come along, this sexy, confident thing, and suddenly he’s not sure if keeping things casual is all he wants.

So he pulls back.

Men are notorious for pulling away when things get serious. He may be unable to gain real perspective when things are hot and heavy and he is spending all his time with you, so he may make himself unavailable a few days so he can spend time away from you and get his head straight.

What To Do When He Ignores You Like This

This is actually a really good reason to ignore you! It means he’s reflecting on the potential of a relationship with you, which is probably what you want, right?

Give him his space to figure things out. When he’s ready, he’ll come back and/or be willing to talk about where things are headed. Let him steer the ship.


3. What Does It Mean When a Guy Ignores You…to Slow Things Down?

You know the feeling: sometimes when you click with someone, it’s easy to get swept up in the emotion of a new relationship. You may be perfectly willing to let things flow and see where they go, but he might panic if things move too quickly at the start of something new.

If these conversations are happening early in the relationship, yea, he might freak out:

You: So I was thinking we should definitely get a puppy down the road. Maybe two…By the way, what names do you like for our children?

Him: Uhhhhhh…

He may feel like he’s getting ahead of himself. That you’re getting ahead of yourself. After all, the two of you have only been dating a few weeks. You really don’t know each other that well.

And so he pulls away.

Now, not every guy will do this. Some guys are happy to move quickly when they know it’s right. So when he ignores you because things are moving too quickly, it might be because he’s emotionally immature. He may feel unable to talk to you about his fears about this relationship, and so he starts to do the fadeout.

What To Do When He Ignores You Like This

When he ignores you as a result of things moving too quickly, realize there’s no rush here. If he needs a week or two to get his head straight on what he wants from all this, you’ll both benefit in the long run. You should do the same: slow things down so you have time to catch your breath and figure things out.

Are things as great as they seem, or are you still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship? Science shows that, during this phase, your brain releases endorphins and hormones that can make you so happy to be around this guy. But in reality, you aren’t being yourselves in this phase. You may not have gotten into an argument yet, or shown one another the dark corners of your mind. And so things seem blissfully perfect.

Having some space at this point can help you understand whether you’re simply infatuated, or if there is real potential for this relationship. He can figure out the same.

On the other hand, if you give him a few weeks to think and him pulling away is a persistent problem, it’s time to talk to him about what’s going on. He may have decided this relationship has no future but is reluctant to end it. Or he might be ignoring you for another reason on this list. He owes you the truth.

Whatever the result with this man, keep in mind for future relationships that going slower is better. Take your time to get to know one another and wait until you’re out of that honeymoon phase and you know how you really feel about him before you start talking about the future.


4. What Does It Mean When a Guy Ignores You…Because You Hurt His Feelings?

The male ego can be fragile. One big reason men pull away is that their feelings get hurt by women.

Think back and you can probably figure out what upset him: did you get in a fight the last time you were together?

Maybe you said something off the cuff that hurt him.

Maybe you made him jealous. You may not even think that the “thing” that happened was that big a deal, but if you can think of something that might have upset him and he’s ignoring you, then you’re probably right.

What To Do When He Ignores You Like This

I’m going to give you one simple word to make this better:

Sorry.

Don’t be afraid to apologize. So many relationships would have less friction if both parties were willing to say they were sorry from time to time.

Even if you don’t think you’re in the wrong, consider apologizing anyway. Many people allow their egos to get in the way of an apology, but sometimes saying sorry is the easiest way to just move on from an unfortunate situation and let your partner know that you value his feelings and didn’t mean to upset him.

And know that men want to reconcile differently than women do. In a study led by T. Joel Wade of Bucknell University, researchers discovered that while women wanted an apology after an argument (maybe with a few tears thrown in for good measure), men preferred a kind gesture or…ahem…sexual favors.

So realize that maybe letting those crocodile tears flow with a blubbering I’m so sorry baby! may not be as effective as showing you care in…other ways.


5. What Does It Mean When a Guy Ignores You…Because It’s Over?

I truly think one of the biggest drawbacks of modern dating is that people aren’t always upfront about how they’re feeling…or as upfront about breaking up with someone as they were in the past.

By the way: women are guilty of this too! I hear from men all the time that women aren’t always honest in telling a man they don’t want to see him again.

It’s so much easier for both parties to ignore a text or call, or block someone on a dating app rather than say, you know what? I don’t really feel chemistry with you. I’d like to stay friends though, if you’re game.

How hard is that?

And yet, if you’re on the receiving end of that ghosting, it can hurt and piss you off to no end.

What To Do When He Ignores You Like This

If you get the sense that this is why he’s ignoring you, look at it as a blessing in disguise. In no way do you want to waste time on a man who isn’t emotionally mature enough to be honest with you about his feelings.

And you need to follow the Golden Rule on this one, lady: if you’re not into a guy, have the courage to tell him you don’t see it being a fit. This lets him move on so he can find someone great. I truly believe in dating karma, that what goes around comes around, so make sure you’re acting in a way you want the men you date to act!


Conclusion:

When he ignores you, there can be many reasons. It’s up to you to put on your detective hat and figure out exactly what the situation is. Give it a few days in case he just needs some space.

If, at that point, he’s still AWOL, reach out and ask what’s up. He may or may not be honest with you about what’s going on, so expect that.

If it gets to a point where you can’t take it, nothing good is going to come of him ignoring you. If he needs time to think about what he wants, he’ll tell you. If he is a coward and can’t be honest about it being over, then it’s time to move on.

So what’s your take? What does it mean when a guy ignores you? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below.

And take advantage of my newest free training: my Flirting Workshop teaches you how to attract a man, show him you’re interested and keep his attention.

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