What do you do when you want an exclusive relationship and he doesn’t? Many women believe their only option is to hang in there until he does. This is not always a wise idea.
The passage of time and the good times you spend together does not guarantee that at any point he will want an exclusive relationship with you. If being exclusive is important to you, and not to him, you are not compatible. You are not looking for the same kind of relationship right now, and may never be on the same page.
So what should you do if you want an exclusive relationship and he does not? First, you should have a discussion and ask why he’s not interested in being in an exclusive relationship, and then listen to his answer. If the answer is he’s not looking for an exclusive relationship right now, and not really sure if he will be in the near future, then you have a choice to make.
You have to accept the reality that this person told you how they feel and what they do not want. You can choose to believe their word, or you can believe the fantasy in your mind. That choice, and the responsibility for the outcome, is on you. Don’t blame him if he chooses not to have an exclusive relationship with you, blame yourself for taking such a high risk.
You Want an Exclusive Relationship and He Doesn’t
If he tells you the reason they do not want to be exclusive is because they feel it is too soon after their last relationship ended, accept that answer because it is a legit one. You can ask how long he thinks he would need to wait. But be mindful, he doesn’t have to give you an exact date or time frame. It’s hard to put a time frame on someone’s healing from a previous relationship.
The thing you must remember is that if you are not in an exclusive relationship with someone you should not treat them as though you are. You should not spend all your free time with them. You should not always be available to them whether it is in person or on the phone. You may think that this will win you an exclusive relationship or keep them from seeing other people but this can seriously backfire on you.
Since he is already getting 100% from you, why exactly should he be exclusive with you? What is there to gain? Nothing really, and he gets to keep his options open. So until you are exclusive with someone, don’t let them get away with taking up all your time. Leave them something to desire from you, instead of giving them all you have to offer.
If the man you are dating tells you outright he will never want to be in an exclusive relationship believe him. Then decide if you are willing to throw away your desires and what you really want for someone who offers you so little.